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a blog from heartfelt creator gobscure

were sitting on the top floor of the molineux centre, shields road where the mental teams hang. a psychiatrist stares dead-ahead at their computer. (psychiatrists never engage us in eye-contact.) this one reads a letter on the computer, then starts talking to himself saying 'whoops yes i wondered when that was going to happen, i suppose i should have warned you about 'those side-effects'. those 'side-effects' were our first heart-attack. (we've had a second one since). psychiatry, sick-chiatry, including their antipsychotic medication, is killing a lot of us.

we were hit by a car chased by the police when we lived in cruddas park. (yeah it got rebranded riverside dene but we never saw the river from our towerblock). lost everything, started over in a different towerblock in leeds, got held up at gun-point. it wont surprise that 'services', cops,, councils, insurance companies, dwp etc didnt help the 'victim' (not keen on those dear victim letters either!). we become homeless, get sectioned, enforced medication (antipsychotics) then slowly caused heart attacks, in a homeless hostel and then finally off-rolled by sick-chiatry once they decided were too sick to be helped and after they'd done more damage than the original traumas. some of our hearts now dead, ta, sick-chiatry. other 'side-effects' include impotence, diabetes, colossal weight gain worsening osteo-arthritis etc. we'd call those main effects alongside making money for big pharma. no those drugs didnt help us any. dont just take our word, dr joanna moncrieff for e.g. published research way back on how antipsychotic meds takes decades off folx lives.

self-taught in the arts, we came up thru political campaigning and community organising, and learnt how to use performance (ta, anti-apartheid and the anc (african national congress) in this country for showing us how to use creative resistances). we then got involved in street & new circus. its only been recently weve been supported, ta museum of homelessness (small radical campaigning organisation from lived experience), greyscale theatre, third angel, slung low ... graeae (britains leading deaf & disabled led theatre company) looked after us under lockdown thru their beyond scheme culminating in a big celebratory event at live theatre. theyve also helped us make this show.

heartfelt - our show about hearts and heartlessness (politicians and psychiatry collide with doctor who (two hearts), octopods (three hearts) and love-heart sweets (theres sweets for all at our show). as well as supported by graeae's beyond scheme, its also been supported by a level centre residency, mgc futures bursary and slung low seedfund and now premieres at live theatre (thanx!). alex kelly of third angel is our mentor and creative collaborator, and were also supported by north-east theatre-maker lindsay nicholson who's also worked on our access support (making it possible for us to safely perform with our multiple disabilities).

heartfelt is the third show in a trilogy spiralling out of some of our lived experiences of homelessness. this shows a relaxed performance and offers serious-fun as we try to reduce sick-chiatry to firewood, stop a politicians heart, get audiences to play a game of competitive empathy, learn from octopods and doctor who, discuss zoochosis (animals also go crazy while imprisoned, humans medicate them rather than setting them free). you will also discover whose heart were wearing on our sleeve. all this is woven together alongside our own experiences of heart-attacks under the fhs (fragmentary health service) to create a magical exploration of hearts & heartlessness. come love&rage with us, get free sweets and a bubblewrap heart to pop. heartfelt is a wildly inventive disability-led solo theatre show. gobscure, oct 22.c.e.

'heartfelt. wildly inventive disability-led solo theatre show about hearts & heartlessness - spiralling out of our heart-attacks. spellbinding'
Museum of Homelessness

'heartfelt. flying squid, bubblewrap, & love-heart sweets for all, whats not to love! quick witted, whilst sharing space genuinely with audiences.'

'heartfelt. how psychiatry makes a killing - our heart-attacks are 'side-effects' of enforced psychiatric meds. a must-watch.'
Slung Low

heartfelt plays in Live Theatre's Studio on Wednesday 19 October 2022, 6pm.  Find out more and book tickets here.

  • Arts Council England
  • Community Foundation
  • European Regional Development Fund


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